Gotta get off these pills.

I think this time of the year is always the hardest for me. The holidays begin their steady march across my calendar and my front door changes its dressing in accordance and the old steady feeling of lonliness and longing creep in around the edges. I long for my family at home and for those times of togetherness.

When I got married the first time and moved out of my parents home I forever changed those relationships with my family. Which is how is is supposed to be to some extend I guess.

I missed a lot of my sisters lives as my own children took center stage. I feel like that missing of their lives has gotten so much wider over these last couple of years. I feel great sadness over that loss.

Maybe it is the time of year, or maybe it is the glorious pain pills I am on but I need to tell my sisters how great I think they are. I know that our struggles are different but I think we all are trying to believe in that happy ending that is not so easy to find. I am super proud of the amazing women that you have grown-up to be. There are many days that I envy you and not a day goes by that I do not wish that we were closer. I love you and I am always here for you.