Speechless.

So I have been asked to give a 12 - 15 minute talk in church on Sunday. On prayer.

Yea.

I have tried on and off all week to think about what I should try to say that might be of value to anyone. Something uplifting and amazing.

The only thought that keeps running through my head is "What the heck am I going to do with the baby? Will people even be able to hear me over her screaming?"

If she is loud enough it really won't matter what I say... right?

Saddness.

My little sister and her sweet hubby are having a terrible week. They have suffered a huge painful loss in their family. My heart goes out to them.

My little sister sent me a text on Saturday that caused immediate tears and many prayers. Her "little sister" was in the hospital. The text she sent me later had much the same effect as the first one, accompanied by clinging to my children while they looked at me funny. Lucy's mommy, who had fought for so long, did not make it.

Sometimes things don't make a lot of sense. I find myself wondering how my sister, John, little Lucy, her Daddy, or their famlies will move forward from here. I was not close to Lariann but I do know how important she was to people I love and care about. I can imagine the hurt they are experiencing. I feel it to a small degree.

It sounds dumb, I am sure, but I am so glad to know that this is not the end of Lariann. I feel bad for those she has left behind but I can feel peace that her family, that love they share, can continue. Always.

It might be far to soon but I hope my little sister can find that peace too, if she hasn't yet. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I only wish there was more I could do.

I got 22 ...

if you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
if you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
if you get 11-20, you are normal.
if you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
people who don’t have any are full of crap.
Tag 10 of your friends and find out whether or not they suffer paranoia.


I fear ...

[ ] black people
[x] the dark (when I'm outside... )
[ ] staying single forever
[x] being a parent
[x] being myself in front of others
[x] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] dog
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

total so far: 6

[ ] fire
[x] very deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning storms
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[x] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

total so far: 10

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] crossing hanging bridges
[x]death
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed/mugged
[x] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] glass dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors
[ ] tornadoes

total so far: 16

[ ] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[x] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] being alone
[ ] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[x] growing up, old

total so far: 20

[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood


total: 22